A Historic Moment (Part 2)

Guess what, everyone?

Right now, in the wee hours of the morning, my blog has just completed the NaBloPoMo challenge. All thirty days, with absolutely NO forgetting or YouTube videos.

Did you read that?

NABLOPOMO IS DONE!

I’m so excited, I may pee. Watch your shoes there.

(snort)

Alright, I’m done being a twit and copying yesterday’s format.

But I really did make it!! And I’m psyched that my 1000 (and add another 20, omgz!) comments got in before November was over. It’s been fun. And I hope the randomizer still works after everyone gets done with NaBloPoMo because I want to keep on stalking random people. Thanks Mrs K. for all your work in organising this month.

If only one of the prizes were an "I finished NaBloPoMo 06 and all I got was this lousy t-shirt." I’d be buying that in a heartbeat. Congratulations to all the rest of the bloggers out there who finished. Group hugs!

(Oh yes? The sunburn? One shoulder is actually a full blown BURN. As in, nearly a week later it is still catastrophically tomato red and hurts to touch or sleep on. I went to the doctor yesterday who scolded me like I was twelve years old for letting my pale ass go in the sun and WHY OH WHY wasn’t I wearing a collared shirt and what about the children? Were they using this dodgy sunscreen too? WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN? Scary doctor. But funny. Very funny.)

(I’m now banned from standing in the sun for longer than oh, 2 seconds at a time. And I’m not allowed to take my sports team out on Friday. Bummer. I can’t just do something half-heartedly now, can I?)

(Do you see the grossness that is the skin blisters? You can’t really
see my red shoulders very well, but just believe me when I say I look
completely gross. Lucky I spared you the picture of me in my bra.
Although it WAS a sexy bra. That’s all, folks.)

30 days down – WE MADE IT!

A Historic Moment

Guess what, everyone?

In the wee hours of last night when not a creature was stirring (not even a mouse!) my blog recieved its 1000th comment.

Did you read that?

1000 comments!

I’m so excited, I may pee. Watch your shoes there.

Starting this blog was one of the best things I’ve done. It gave me a fresh outlet to write out my ramblings, and it led me to some really amazing people – people whose lives I read about and experience just through words. It’s pretty darned exciting.

I think NaBloPoMo is to blame for the 1000 comments, because of all the wonderful readers and randomizer lurkers out there. Even after 1000 of them (and yes, obviously I am hyper about this since I have mentioned that number at least, oh, 1000 times?) I still bounce with joy when I see my Typepad comment emails in my inbox before work. I’m so lame!

Thanks everyone for making my day, and right before December too. Perfect timing. Here’s to commenting, to blog love, to you guys reading, and to 1000 more. Cheers!

(And yes, LALA, it was you! Hoorah!)

Sunshine, Fools.

Take me back to the sweet times,
The hot nights.
Everything is gonna be alright,
In the summertime.. Yeah, in the summertime!
Summertime – Thirsty Merc

In the summertime when the weather is high,
You can stretch right up and touch
the sky.
Oh when the weather’s fine,
You got women, you got women on your mind!
Summertime – Mungo Jerry

And it’s you and me in the summertime,
We’ll be hand in hand down in the
park.
With a squeeze and a sigh and that twinkle in your eye,
And all the sunshine banishes the dark!
Summertime – The Sundays

What lovely songs. Very summery. Full of ahem, good times. And sunshine. Yeah, we get it.

Seriously? Good to sing along to, but SO unrealistic.

You’re in for a treat folks. I decided to write my very own summer anthem. Now if someone is interested in recorded it as a song and giving me half the profits, please contact me. Right on.

Oh, Oh, it’s summertime!
Refereeing sports games in the heat.
And although you put on lots of suncream,
Your shoulders are lumps of cooked meat.

Oh, Oh, it’s summertime!
Your kids win but your skin – it does not.
After three hours of sport you are thinking,
Get me inside, it’s too fucking hot.

Oh, Oh, it’s summertime!
You get home and feel quite worse for wear.
Your skin is all red and you know who to blame,
Damn UV rays floating through the air.

Oh, Oh, it’s summertime!
Since the sports match you have felt like shit.
The moisturiser bottle is empty,
Your skin starting to itch quite a bit.

Oh, Oh, it’s summertime!
Five days on and the skin is still hurting.
Tomorrow it’s off to the doctor for you,
EVIL BLISTERS! I am totally not working.
Summertime – Alyndabear

Seriously. If I took a picture of the blisters that erupted today, you would be turned off your food for several days. Totally disgusting. Effing sunburn!

(Just a couple more comments until my big 1-0-0-0! Holy cow!)

28 days down; 2 to go.

Burnin’ Up!

Ever since the scorching of the bosom and chest and neck area, I think my body temperature has gone up a couple of degrees.

(If you’re sitting here wondering what scorching I’m talking about, just scroll down a couple of entries. I’m too lazy to post the link because that would require effort.)

There we go.

(And I am absolutely not nekkid, by the way. I was wearing a skirt shoved around my boobs like a dress because it hurt too much to wear anything with straps. Oh, and for the obligatory blog shot too, of course.)

Back to the sunburn.

My skin is hot to the touch.
It hurts to sleep, especially on the left side.
I winced last night everytime Jase accidently brushed past it.
My key chain banged against it whenever I moved today.
I break into a sweat everytime I move.
I literally sweated through my shirt at gym today.

Is it possible that this evil sunburn has actually fucked with my body temperature? Because today was lovely weather, under 30o celcius. And tomorrow? Is predicted to be over 40o celcius.

Perhaps I should attach a bucket to my forehead or something.

Diagnose me, people. Is a day off work in the cards?

P.S. Am totally okay. Thanks for the love and support in the last post, there was a bit of an incident with Jason and myself, but we have sorted it out. Here’s hoping the future works itself out, because I do love that boy very, very much.

P.P.S. Bridget Jones is my idol.

27 days down; 3 to go!

All By Myself

This is what happens when you are an idiot.

Go out.
Leave.
Get home.
Cry an awful lot.
Scare parents with the crying.
Hug dogs and pine for the $100 kitty I could have adopted at the vet surgery today.
Drink bottle of chardonay. (bleh)
Eat toffee icecream.
Watch Bridget Jones Diary.
Cry an awful lot more.
Poke self in eye with tissue, causing profuse watering and even more tears.
Insomnia.

I am an idiot.
And I’m not quite sure what to do about it.

Oh yes.

I am hurting.
And I am frustrated.
And I am FEELING STUPID.

Is it that hard to love all of me? Not just the parts to pick and choose, but every part of me? Really?

I hate feeling stupid.

But I love Bridget Jones.

26 down; 4 to go.

Exactly A Month

I am quite comfortable with admitting I am completely shocked that it is the end of November. The last few years have flown by, and they’re speeding up every time. I’m not sure whether that is a good thing or a bad thing, though.

It’s good because December is always my favourite time of year, what with Christmas, time off and relaxing over Summer. I’m not even a fan of Summer (evil sunburn, yeeow) but I AM a fan of air conditioning.

It’s bad because after Christmas time starts speeding up again, and the holidays always seem to be over before they start. Also because once a year is gone, you can’t go back and change it.

I talked to a mother at my school yesterday, and found out she just turned 24. She has a little girl in Year 2, a little boy in Kindergarten, and another little boy in daycare. Why does that make me feel old? And I’m not even 23. Weird.

Anyway – 30 days to go until Christmas. 19 teaching days of school left. 36 days left of 2006. 43 days before New Zealand beckons.

And only 5 days before we put our tree up and go crazy with decorations!

(snort)

Why am I snorting? We live on a street where the neighbours all go out of their way to beat each other with tacky exterior house light displays. We love decorating the inside of our house, but the outside? No thanks. In a way we’re a bit Scrooge-ish. But it IS funny seeing people come strolling up our streets checking out their tacky displays, and walking past our house where the only lights are coming from the Christmas tree and the garage spotlights. Hee.

Oh, Oh. And this year will be extra special! Mum found a Bart Simpson wooden cut-out and he’s wearing a Santa hat and mooning people. Doesn’t that send a nice message to our neighbours? Bah humbug to you and your scary possessed mechanical reindeer whose moving heads and glowing eyes freak me out every time I stare out my window.

(And just to clarify, I LOVE going walking or driving at Christmas, checking out lights. It’s one of my favourite things to do! Just not with idiotic neighbours, who also like to block off our entire street with road barriers, just so THEY can have a barbeque down the end without interruptions. Bastards.)

What have you got to do in the ONE MONTH before Christmas?

25 down; 5 to go.

I love me a Sunburnt Country

But I definitely don’t love me a sunburnt bosom.

No sir, I do not.

And a sunburnt bosom is what I am the owner of right now.

And it is the most disgusting thing you’ve ever seen. WAH. And the key chain mark? Is just the icing on the cake.

Next year, my pale skin and I are putting up a fight about taking a sports team. PALIES UNITE! BOO TO SUNCREAM THAT DOESN’T WORK! JUST SAY NO!

Just when I thought I was getting rid of the ugly watch tan, too. Damn ye summer. Damn ye.

I pull faces in your general direction. Now. Can someone please pass the aloe? I hurty.

24 down; 6 to go!

Junk Mail Must Die!

Gain with Nanotechnology!
Exciting Weight Loss Drugs!
Popular Software, Almost Free!
Unhappy Body? Lose The Pounds!
Popular Drugs! Cheap, Cheap, Cheap!
Get Porn Star Ejaculations!
Prolong Your Pleasure!

Dude. If all of those things were real, I’d be a hot, skinny model with an immune system of steel with a partner who sounds too good to be true (!) sitting at a computer with fabulous software having nano-chipped robots doing all my work and cleaning for me. And did I mention I’d be skinny?

I could handle that.

Sometimes I wonder if the "Block Sender" icon in my Outlook Express is even worth using.

Is the effort of scrolling down the task bar for each individual junk mail really doing anything? Is it worth waiting a couple of seconds for the (DING) noise that lets you know that your junk mail is done, gone, kaput, finito? Or not. They LIE.

Is the (DING) "penisenlargement4free@annoyingspamgod.com has successfully been added to your blocked senders list" pop up message really even legitimate? HAVE they been blocked? Because I have this one astronomer email stalker that keeps on sending me through personalised horoscopes (totally free! only $49.95 per email!) and I swear, I’ve blocked her ass about fifteen times.

I bet in some top secret Windows testing laboratory, you could find the original pop up messages floating about. And I bet they go a little something like this:

(DING) "Ha! Fool! You just wasted ten seconds of your time clicking that button. And you know what we did? We had a game of fooze ball and drank a few beers. We even played that little ding-dong sound to keep your sad, sorry excuse of an ass occupied and thinking we were actually doing our job, when really? We actually sent the junk mail gods a nice little email telling them to keep up the good work because ha ha! You’re still reading this! That’s another ten seconds. And another ten seconds trying to find the "OK" button on this message because we made sure it was a flashy one that doesn’t stay in the same place for longer than a second. Ha! Have a nice day, sucker."

But then I’m sure they changed it because it was too long. Or something.

Those bastards.

DOWN WITH SPAM! (And Outlook Express too.)

23 down; 7 to go.

And You Thought You Knew Me

Five Things You Might Not Know About Me.

1. I swear. An awful lot. Yes, you may see some of that reflected in this blog but in real life? Even more so. What is interesting is that my brain automatically switches to teacher mode when I’m at work. I think I’ve had one time where I nearly bellowed out a Sugar Honey Iced Tea (hee!) but that was only when I slammed my finger in my desk drawer, and luckily my brain was awake that day. What is also interesting? Jason rarely swears, at all.

2. I’m a very fussy eater. I don’t eat seafood, not even fish. I don’t eat tomatoes. I don’t like a lot of green vegetables, and get told I act like a little kid when I’m choosing meals. I also pick sultanas (or raisins, whatever floats your boat) out of cereals, breads and cakes. Hmm. What else? Oh, right – I didn’t like strawberries or kiwi fruit or other fruit with seeds, but I think that was just because of the seeds. I’ve been trying to be better with that, because I generally really love eating fruit. Basically? I’m fussy. Deal with it.

3. I have the palest skin in the history of the world. I once got so badly sunburned on my back that the peeling caused my skin to bubble, and it has never smoothed out again. Gross! Because of coaching my sports team every Friday at school, my arms have started to go a little brown, leaving me with nice pale key chain marks and t-shirt marks. I’d prefer to be pale all over again, thanks.

4. I don’t wear gold jewellery. I never have worn gold jewellery. I never will wear gold jewellery. Unless we’re talking white gold, in that case; you buy it, I wear it. Nice and easy. Seriously though, ever since I was a little girl I always preferred silver. Maybe because I was so pale, maybe because that’s what mum wore, I don’t know. I’m definitely a silver kind of gal.

5. I would prefer to be at home reading a book than at a social party mingling with people I don’t know. I don’t do social outings very often OR very well. I do read well, though. My secret ambition is to be an author one day, but with the way I procrastinate? I think I’d better aim for short children’s books.. and learn to draw. I cannot draw to save my life.

I’m tagging anyone who is struggling for NaBloPoMo ideas for this one. Consider it a gift from ME to YOU. Especially the randomiser visitors, who are lurking these days. Come out, come out, wherever you are..

22 down; 8 to go!

Bloggings from a Puddle

40.9.

That was the temperature today at around 2pm.

In celcius.

That’s 106 degrees Fahrenheit if my conversion site is correct.

And it’s SPRING.

Say it with me now; Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

It wouldn’t bother me so much if I were at home, since we have a wonderful thing called AIR CONDITIONING. One would think at the institution where it is my job to instill knowledge and worldly advice and dance moves into my kidlets minds would be as comfortable as the education department could get, right?

Fuck, no. We have no air conditioning. I had a classroom of hot, sweaty, grumpy and miserable kidlets today. And they had a hot, sweaty, grumpy and miserable teacher today. I bet all the education bigwigs aren’t sweating it out in their offices with no air conditioning. *snorts*

Therefore, since several dozen of my brain cells sizzled away into nothing after my duty on the scorching asphalt playground of death, it’s time for a to-do list. I’ve been meaning to do one ever since I saw Nicole’s one, so what better time than the present?

* Finish the student report comments and student database information. (Sounds simple but that involves 1 page of crappy new statements for each of my twenty five kidlets. TWENTY FIVE PAGES OF COMMENTS.)

* Tally up absences and partial absences for the record cards. (Counting is absolutely not my strong point.)

* Get my kids doing their cowboy line dance up to speed because we tried it with music for the first time yesterday and they totally sucked need some practice. (I’m a mean cow who snorted out a few giggles watching the unco-ordinated ones shuffle around. Mean!)

* Somehow find twenty five cowboy style hats for the kidlets to wear on the performance night. (How I’m going to manage that, I have no idea – suggestions welcomed!)

* Use the next four weeks to finish my teachers accreditation which let’s face it; is going to be the death of me. Death! (And if I die before NEW ZEALAND OMGZ I will be one pissed off teacher lady.)

* Find Christmas gift for Jason, Ajay and my work Secret Santa. (Everyone else has been bought for, because I am a semi-organised chook this year. Impressive, eh?)

* Save money (to attend my staff Christmas party, as well as Jasons.)

* Save money (to put aside for holidays since I might not get paid during them.)

* Save money (for spending money for NEW ZEALAND OMGZ!)

* Spend money on decent summer clothes, some swim shorts and other necessities (for NEW ZEALAND OMGZ!)

* Make a countdown calendar (for NEW ZEALAND OMGZ!)

Are we seeing a pattern here?

I was a good girl today and stayed back until 5pm typing out more report comments, so I’ve made a bit of a start there. But there is such a lot to do, and such a short time before the end of school / Christmas / early January holiday time.

Just need to imagine the wonderful stress-free time I’ll have after all of that stuff is behind me. Positive thinking, right?

Now if I could just un-melt myself off this chair…

21 down; 9 to go!